Hello everyone, Craig here. Today, I want to share a deeply personal story about my journey through an L5-S1 spinal fusion surgery and how I’ve learned to live and cope with the changes it brought into my life. This isn’t just a tale of physical recovery; it’s about the emotional and mental battles, the ups and downs, and finding new ways to live a fulfilling life despite the challenges.
The Accident That Changed Everything
My journey started on December 18, 2018. It was a day like any other in my career as a captain in the offshore oilfield industry, a career I had passionately pursued for over 20 years. The Gulf was my second home, and I thrived on the challenges and camaraderie that came with the job. But that day, everything changed.
The accident happened quickly, and the pain was immediate. I knew instantly that something was seriously wrong. As I was helped off the rig and onto a medical transport, a flood of emotions hit me. Fear, uncertainty, and a sense of loss washed over me. I didn’t know it at the time, but that moment marked the end of my career in the oilfield and the beginning of a long and arduous journey to recovery.
The Harsh Reality of Recovery
When you’re injured offshore, you don’t get workers’ compensation like you would on land. Under the Jones Act, I was entitled to Maintenance and Cure, which meant they would fix what was wrong with me and pay me a maintenance fee. Unfortunately, this fee was a measly $35 per day. That first year, 2018, was a terrible year for us. The financial strain was immense, and we struggled to make ends meet with this insufficient compensation. The physical pain was bad enough, but the added stress of financial uncertainty made everything worse.
The Decision for Surgery
Fast forward to November 2019, after countless meetings with doctors and therapists, it was decided that I would undergo a major surgery—an L5-S1 posterior and anterior fusion with hardware in both locations. The decision was not made lightly. My wife, Melissa, and I spent hours discussing it with medical professionals, weighing the risks and potential benefits. We knew this surgery was my best chance to alleviate the debilitating pain and possibly regain some quality of life, but it was still a daunting prospect.
The surgery itself was one of the most challenging experiences I’ve ever faced. The pain was intense, and the recovery seemed daunting. However, I knew this was my only chance to alleviate the debilitating pain and possibly regain some quality of life.
The Grueling Road to Recovery
The first two weeks post-surgery were excruciating. Pain was my constant companion, but I pushed through, determined to find some semblance of recovery. Walking became my primary form of physical therapy. I started with short distances, gradually building up to walking a mile each day. While walking helped, it wasn’t just the physical aspect I had to contend with; my mental health needed attention too.
Every step was a victory, but it was also a reminder of how far I had to go. I spent countless hours in physical therapy, working on rebuilding my strength and mobility. There were days when the pain was so bad that I wanted to give up, but I kept going. I had to. For my family, for myself, for my future.
Finding a New Purpose
By 2023, I began to realize the full impact of my injury on my life. My wife, Melissa, and I had started a wreath-making business, venturing into a completely new field. We were busy learning the ropes, becoming our own bosses, and managing a business we had little experience in. Despite our best efforts, we made numerous mistakes that hurt our business. We did manage to build a social media following of almost 65,000 followers across various platforms, but monetizing this following to replace my oilfield salary proved to be a bigger challenge than we anticipated.
The Mental Struggle
The year 2023 was a turning point. The constant pain from my back, coupled with the stress of running a struggling business, started to take a toll on my mental health. I began to feel overwhelmed by self-doubt, anger, and resentment. The physical limitations reminded me daily that I was no longer the man I once was. Simple tasks like putting on socks became monumental challenges. These frustrations began to consume me, and I realized I had to confront these demons head-on.
Listening to Others and Learning from Experience
One of the toughest parts of my recovery was dealing with the well-meaning but often misguided advice from others. When we put our lives out on social media, people would tell me how I should feel based on their own experiences with back surgery. Many shared success stories, how their pain was gone, and how they returned to their old lives. While I’m genuinely happy for those whose surgeries were successful, it’s important to recognize that not everyone has the same outcomes. Each person’s journey is unique, and comparing your progress to others can be disheartening.
We all deal with pain differently. I think I manage my pain well, but my back dictates my activities. If I sit too long, it lets me know. If I stand or move too much, it reminds me again. My days of working an 8 to 10-hour job are over. My body just won’t allow me to do that kind of work anymore. Explaining this to others can be frustrating because they often don’t understand. It’s a hard lesson, but sometimes you have to stop explaining and just accept that not everyone will get it.
Embracing the New Normal
Learning to live your new life is hard. Finding motivational support, opening up to someone, and talking about your struggles before they build up is crucial. Change is challenging, but it can also be beneficial if you learn to embrace it. In 2024, I started listening to inspiring figures like Terri Savelle Foy and Mel Robbins on YouTube. These women provide different but equally valuable perspectives on motivation and personal growth.
Establishing a Routine
I began to structure my mornings to set a positive tone for the day. After my morning grooming and grabbing a cup of coffee, I dedicate the first 20 minutes to God. Sometimes I sit quietly; other times, I talk out loud to Him as if He’s right there with me. I ask for specific things I want or need and focus on setting a clear vision for my future. A Bible verse that has helped me is Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Another verse that has been instrumental in my journey is Habakkuk 2:2: “And the Lord answered me: ‘Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.'”
The next 20 minutes are for self-care. I listen to motivational speakers or watch videos that provide new ideas and inspiration. Finally, I spend the last 20 minutes of the hour exercising. While I can’t work out like I used to, I’ve grown to appreciate chair exercises, walking, and light activities. These exercises help my mind as much as my body.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
The emotional toll of my injury was significant. I often felt useless and a burden to my family. I struggled with feelings of inadequacy, constantly comparing myself to the man I used to be. The physical pain was bad, but the emotional pain was sometimes worse. It took a long time for me to realize that these feelings were normal and that it was okay to feel this way. What I had to learn, though, was how to move past these feelings and find a new sense of purpose.
Finding Joy in a New Venture
One of the unexpected joys in my journey was discovering a passion for cooking and sharing our recipes. Our social media family encouraged us to compile our favorite recipes into a cookbook. This led to the creation of “With the Bickhams Cookbook Volume 1.” This project brought me happiness and a sense of accomplishment. Not only did it allow us to share our love for cooking with others, but it also gave us a new way to connect with our followers. If you’d like to support us and help contribute to a good cause, you can purchase a copy of our cookbook. We are donating a portion of the sales to our Youth Fund at our church to help with Vacation Bible School every year. You Click here to sign up on our email list and be entered to win a free autographed copy of my cookbook.
Building a Supportive Community
Don’t overdo it. Just try to move a little every day. Learn to give yourself grace because you’re learning to live a whole new life. It’s essential to be happy and make others around you happy as well. Surround yourself with people who will cheer you on and lift you up when you need it. Let go of those who bring you down or doubt your journey. Some of those negative influences might be friends or even family, but it’s crucial to protect your mental health.
Social media has been a huge part of our journey. Through our various platforms, we’ve connected with so many amazing people who have provided support, encouragement, and friendship. We’ve shared our highs and lows, and in return, we’ve received an outpouring of love and understanding. If you’re going through something similar, I encourage you to join our online community. Follow us on social media and share your story. We’re here to help, to listen, and to support each other. Together, we can find strength and inspiration.
Finding Inspiration and Moving Forward
I hope my story inspires you to keep going and know that you’re not alone. Mental health can improve after a life-changing event, and motivation from others is vital. Good luck with your journey, and thank you for visiting our With the Bickhams blog. Please share this article with others who might find it inspiring too.
Conclusion
Living with an L5-S1 spinal fusion surgery has been one of the toughest challenges of my life. It’s a journey marked by pain, struggle, and adaptation. But it’s also a journey of resilience, faith, and finding new beginnings. To anyone facing similar challenges, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to have bad days, but never lose sight of the good ones. Keep pushing forward, find your new purpose, and remember that there’s always hope for a brighter tomorrow. Follow us on our social media platforms to stay connected, share your stories, and support each other on this journey. Together, we can overcome anything.